watched u guy try driving his boat onto the trailer. the only problem was the guy in the car got out to watch and forgot the hand brake. which when the boat got on the trailer it rolled backwards and off the concrete rampwhen they tried to drive out the trailer must have bottomed out oon the sprngs. hmm what did they do they decided to use the boat and car to push the lot up the ramp and when the boat roared forward it jumped out of the guides off the trailer and ended up in the back of the car, it was very funny indeed and hence the two guys didnt sick around for long finnnaly got it on the trailer and drove away with one massive dent in the car

was at carrington boat ramp at about 0530 with 3 other keen fishos which had already launched their rigs, with my boat in the water when a 'hero' turned up. instead of launching on the concrete ramp, our champion reversed down on the wet sand proceeded to launch his 24ft starcraft directly onto the sand. wanker

we had just retrieved my boat from swansea ramp when 'hero' pushed in, in a brand new haines pursuit. he then proceeded to drive to the front of the line to clean his rig...then didn't put on his tie down. he turned right out of the boat ramp and caught the median strip at about 30kms and flipped the boat. it was on the news and we laughed pretty hard. toolbag

Last weeks best effort at Tantabiddi was a guy with a little 4.5m cat retriving on low tide. So Mr 'hero' decides he's going to snatch his trailer out, righteo, no dramas. A little embarrassed about how long it took and with a queue of boats waiting he decides not to stop at the top of the ramp to hook the trailer back onto the car. So off he drives into the car park and decides to slam on the brakes and get out only to see his boat go slingshotting past him and into one of the cars waiting to retrieve. According to my source, things started getting pretty heated after that!!!

i have had trouble myself.not long had my first boat ,took my family to mandurah to go crabbing. put boat in no probs but when it came time to pull out,atoyota lite ace van on a steep wet ramp not a good combo.high revs lots of tyre smoke but not going anywhere .three good samaratins theh got behind the van and pushed .after about 20 mins we got out ,never used that ramp again and got bigger and more powerful car.had a good laugh but

RUSS

"A family that fishes together stays together"

I used to fish off a little groyne near one of the boat ramps. As you know, there are large tidal movements in that part of the country and that particular boat ramp also seemed to grow a fair bit of that green slime on it.
Don't know how many times I saw guys start backing their car and boat down the ramp at low tide and end up sliding into the water, car, boat and driver.

Brad and Jay and the other Pilbarians will also have probably heard stories of the people who have tried to drive from the end of the Burrup across to the nearest island at low tide. Only to see their 4wd sink under the sand.
(Colin 1 - Co-founding member of the prestigious Colin Club)

Ah Russ, the smell of burning clutch at the ramp. Very distinctive smell that one.:)

John

I head a little FURTHER NORTH each year,
Leave the cities behind, out of sight of mind,
.......

 Every time we went fishing with Joe there would be some sort of happening,, he saw someone do the reverse slam the brakes on and take off trick,(so he had to try it ) all went well except a loose rope on the boat got wrapped around the trailer roller,he went flying up the ramp with the boat behind him still attached,,,,but not on the trailer,,,,,, 

Another day he launched the tinny, was at the base of the ramp in the water testing the motor, lifting it out of the water giving it full revs for some unknown reason, it was going at top revs when he dropped the motor back down into the water,,,the tinny shot forward up the ramp

The rest of the days fishing was much of the same, running over his cray pots and cutting the rope,,then telling me and my brother the pros must have cut his rope,,pulling into a jetty,,then reversing out across the front of the jetty cutting a dozen fishermens lines,,,

Sure theres fun at the ramps,,but thats just a small part of the days fun,,,hahahaha

Colin 3 > long standing and highly respected member of the prestigous Colin's club.

After launching the boat into the Hillarys launch ramp I was faced with a 20 minute wait to get away. Looking around I noticed a guy holding 2 jet skis in the oposite bay already launched. A short time after the other guy turned up and proceeded to give a "CRASH" course on riding a jetski. The experienced fella starts up and throttles off. The learner starts up and with the balance of a 1 year old he goes full throttle. The guy manages to zig zag his way out of the jetty narrowly missing other vessels either side of him. It was then a 20 min laughing fest for all around as this poor learner was thrown from his jetski aleast 10 times in a distance of 50m. I think he should have practised some more on the Play Station first.

Cheers

Terry

Get your heart racing get a PACEMAKER

had my dingy for a while ( no keys required ) so when I bought my new boat decided to take the fam down to the river for a run. got to the boat ramp and had everything loaded up on the boat and gave her a good push out. climbed on the front and went to start it only to realise the keys were in the sounder bag which I had decided I didn't require in the river. with a dozen or more people watching from shore as I had to jump in and swim it and fam back to shore. Drove home while fam waited with the boat to get the keys (embarrasing)

always time for fishin'

dont feel to bad about the bungs,i think a lot of us have done that . i have seen boats coming back in flat out trying to get rid of the water .it is a good laugh when you look back at it but not at the time.

RUSS

"A family that fishes together stays together"

Got to the car park at one of my quick fix cod spots when I was living in Canberra, started setting up the kayak wondering if the cod would be biting that evening, the weather was perfect for it.

Just as I finnished setting up all my gear and loading my 4pk of turkey's into the yak I realised I'd left the trolley at home, so I packed it all up, put the yak back on the roof and went home, sat in the shed and drank my bourbs laughing at what a d!ckhead I am.

Wonder what all the onlookers thought, it was pretty embarrasing.

Cheers, Al. 

I got sent these today, bit out of date but still cautionary.

I bet that was a rough day!

Yes Nothing beats a saturday or sunday afternoon down at your local ramp. you would pay good money elsewhere for entertainment like that especially during summer. Its a good way to learn what not to do.

Enjoy a good hard ...... Fish

LOL - some good stories, YES, in my younger days I've

1) Done a bungless launch.

2) Done the 'hero launch' very badly and dropped the keel on the deck.

My story relates to more AFTER the launch.

My first boat was a 5.3 Douglas Sabre runnabout, solid as a tank and a very wide bow flare, the boat was brilliant in any seas.

When I bought it, it was fitted with an old Chrysler OB (yes, that's how long ago it was!).

Since I was also into water skiing at the time, I decided to 'upgrade' the motor - to a Mariner (V4 if I recall).

This is when the 'fun' started.

The first time I wen't out from Cockburn (as a member of the Cockburn Power Boat Association), I sucked in a plastic bag and cooked the motor (no sophisticated management alarm/management systems in those days) and had to call Sea Rescue to tow us in.

Then, for the next SIX saturdays (having had the motor rebuilt during the week), I ventured out with my twin brothers and my father.

I'd do all the right things during the week, start the motor etc, make sure plenty of charge etc.

It would start straight away after launching, would start if we test started whilst anchored for a while, BUT every time we went to head home - it just refused to start!

'OH NO, NOT AGAIN' was the mutual cordinated groan of dispair from all on board.

So; for six weeks in a row, I called Sea Rescue.

The supreme insult and embarrasment was on the the third (and thereafter on each subsequent launch I did) week, as soon as I drove in and went to the ramp - Sea Rescue would launch the rescue craft - not waiting for my inevitable call.

Colin Molloy

(Colin 2 - Co-founding member of the prestigious Colin Club)

That proactive thinking with sea rescue launching ready to rescue you Colin,lol

Last time i went out in my kayak, i forgot the bung, paddled straight back to the beach and started adjusting stuff around the kayak, because lots of familys were watching, until i reached the bung, which i quietly screwed in without any fan fare,lol

Colin 3 > long standing and highly respect member of the prestigous Colin's club.

What was the problem with your boat Colin?
(Colin 1 - Co-founding member of the prestigious Colin Club)

...it wouldn't start LOL

Nah, seriously mate.....never got to find out. Not long after that event, my wife (at the time) and I commenced long service leave for 3 months travelling the European continent - so we sold the boat (and my Triumph Stagg convertable :(   ) 

Colin Molloy

(Colin 2 - Co-founding member of the prestigious Colin Club)

Seen a few boats forget the bung down at point peron ramp early in the morning, including my old boat once. 5am in the morn and i was still half asleep. The esky floating around gave it away and i had to jump into the water and put the bung in quick. Water was cold and i wasnt happy.
I soon learnt from that and always check the bung several times now!

www.rockyreefmarine.com.au

I know it it raises eyebrows, but feel it is my duty as a deckie to always ask the skipper prior to launch.......is the bung in??????

Years ago I was left holding the rope while the skipper drove off to park up the trailer.....not a good look!  LOL!!

I do whatever the little voices tell me to do

It would look funny.
(Colin 1 - Co-founding member of the prestigious Colin Club)

not the stagg dreamweaver. my uncles got one and it is such a sweet ride. his is a yellowish colour. only thing is when it breaks down its costly. as for doing the bung thing NOWORRIES we've all been there done that. at leats you got yours at the ramp i actually took of put the biscuits out  towed for one go then realises that the boat was a slug. only prob was that i was missing the bungs that should have been there. very tense heaidng into the ramp and then having your mate whos never driven the boat befor go for a spin while i get the trailer and then drive it up on the trailer.

We had a guy down here trying to launch at the old ramp next to the jetty a few years back and anyone who has used that ramp will know how slippery it is. Anyway this guy with his brand new boat and brand new Mitsubishi Ute backed down and hit the skids to slow his decent only for the tyres to slip on the slippery stuff and his boat and car ended up in the drink.
Another time way back when, we used to charge $10 to pull people out of the water from the sand at the Cockburn PBC. When the sea breeze come up it was pandemonium and every man for himself back at the ramp. But my old CJ5 jeep with it's 302 yanked boats out with ease. Could make well over a $100 on a good day.

Cheers
Dale

I'm not scared of banana's

Callsign: AS-144

1) TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN - Or String Me Along

For any of you that are/have been members of Swan Yacht Club, you know that the combination of tides, strong currents and close proximity between the launch finger and the pen sticks can be a real trap for the unwary, inexperienced or (naughty, naught) intoxicated.

We'd always make a point of having a nice cold pint, sitting at the front of the club house and surveying happenings at the finger, as boats launched and rereived, and water activity across the swan in general.

One warm summer afternoon, after a trip to Rotto, Sandra and I were luxuriating over the sensation of an ice cold beering slowly and soothingly oozing down our parched throats.

I han't realised that I'd been passively watching this couple of elder years, attempting to bring a wonderful looking open decked clinker into the finger. Try as the skipper may, from all angles and different speeds and turns, he could not bring the boat alongside quick enough to tether the bow to stern rope.

I watched him for a full 45 minutes, sure that the next try would be successful. Reluctant to leave my beer, I sauntered down there and yelled for him to through his bowline over to me as he came close (for what must have been the 30th time).

Fortunately, he was at least, a good rope thrower and in no time at all, I had his boat pulled in and tied off on the finger.

He, being of frail years, was exhausted, sweating and (litterally) shaking with nerves - he'd worked himself into quiet a state.

2) ROCKS THAT LOOK LIKE WINCHES

Ok; will make this shorter LOL. I've now assissted no less than five parties who have relied solely on their electric wiches, only to have them fail, and not have a (manual overide) handle on them.

Colin Molloy

(Colin 2 - Co-founding member of the prestigious Colin Club)

Have seen many winch handles disappear over the years with guys having to winch up 2 tonne boats with a spanner.  Not fun.

Think its fair to say that everyone has had some bad experiences when it comes to boating.  I'd say mine would have to be bogging a car that I borrowed of a mate that I hadn't seen in ten years with a fast incoming tide.  The discussion actually got to the point of, guess we are taking out 10 grand loans each to buy him a new car. :(

SQUID - The agony, ecstacy, anger and humour: 

This happened some years back when I had a Douglas Sabre R18 Runnabout. My twin brother (yes eee gads, there is two of us, but I'm the improved model ) was out past the 5 fathom bank, west of Garden for a days fishing. We were well out in 100m as it was one of those typical April days, with no wind, and flat seas.

Fishing the bottom, my brother announced he had a dead weight (no, not the snapper sinker!) and reeled the rig to the surface to be confronted by an emormous squid that woudn't have looked out of place in Voyage To The Bottom of the Sea (for those of you old enough to remember that).

Anyway I digress. Back to the squid. As we all know, squid have a propulsion mechanism and a defense mechanism. Oh Oh! Securely tangled up in the patanostra rigs, Clive (that's my brother) confidently halled the squid in the direction of the port side gunnel. Silly me, was already stationed there to cop a close look at the action. I got more than I bargained for!

No sooner had the squid reached head height on the gunnels when it unleased an awesome volume of water at phenominal velocity bang on target with the tender parts of my anatomy that was level with the gunnels (yes the gibbly bits!).

As reflexes took over and I bent over in agony, amazingly it let rip with another load of water - preferring the wider broadcast of a saturation (literally) bombing approach. This drenched me from head to toe.

But the squid wasn't finished...

Now both in agony AND drenched it unleased the defense weapon - like I was in any position to be threatening. The extremely thick indellible ink hit me fair in the chest and splatterred everywhere! Including the boats pristine gell coated white gunnels.

"P*ss that that thing off"! I gaspingly yelled."It's bl**dy dangerous". At which point I grabbed a sharp knife from the bait board and unceremoneously parted Clive's rig - hooks, sinker and all.

Needless to say Clive was helpless, rolling in agonistic laughter and prone on the deck.

We both laugh about it now - but I always check to see what he's bringing on board! 

MEALS ON REELS - Feet warmed italian style:

It was New Year's eve. On our new boat. My wife and I decided, we'd take a cruise on the Swan - still getting used to the behaviour of the hull. As you know each boat behaves slightly differently. We'd decided to drop the pick in Rocky bay before 12 and crack a few bottles of wine and sleep the night.

But before we did, as it was dusk, I decided to anchor just off the channel at Chidley point and drop a bony for Mullaway and float a couple of lines for a possible taylor.

We'd spent a fortune on loading the boat with all things we deemed necessary, and; for a Christmas lunch, with all the trimmings, we'd acquired a fodling table that sat neatly on the deck between the square'd transom seat and rear of the forred FRB snug seats.

Tod, the only boy of four step children (well adults now) from my wife, had bought me one of those butane camping stoves. My wife had come armed with a frying pan and the ingriedents for bolounaise. Spag Bol if you like.

Standing on a pristine white deck, I carefully stirred in the ingredients - far too volumous for the small pan.

I stopped for a cig and was watchinga couple of boats heading round the point to Fremantle, when; unbenown to me, a large cruiser passed in the channel.

Now my wife is new to boats, and, as you know, it takes some time to develop "sea legs".

A hot night, shorts, and bare feet.

In comes the wake of the cruiser. My wife, minus sea legs on the port side attempts to stir the pot.

I'm still looking out to starboard.

CRASH!!! Kadoomp!!!

Next thing, both my bare feet dissappear under a mountain of boiling bolounaigse.

My wife appologies profrussely whilst I'm screaming every expletive in the english (and probably other) language(s).

Then. she asks "is it hot enough yet"? !!!

The short answer was YES!!

WE decided the deck (and my feet) were clean enough and served dinner. For some reason, I ate mine with my feet dipped in the swan.

Colin Molloy

(Colin 2 - Co-founding member of the prestigious Colin Club)

(Colin 1 - Co-founding member of the prestigious Colin Club)

 Sounds like you could write a book about your adventures Colin, somebody needs to keep a video camera handy when on the water or at the boat ramps, $250,000 ? is the 1st prize in funniest home videos,,lol

My mate Joe was fun at crabbing he would get to the pots at full speed and not slow down at all, i had to try and gaff them at flat chat speed, would take 1/2 dozens runs at a pot sometimes to get it, you could never tell him to slow down,,he thought speed was of the essence to suprise the crabs,,,,

Once we launced at Shoalwater, we were cruising along looking for a spot to put the crab pots, i happened to mention we are in front of the nude beach, he looked at his echo sounder and annouced in triumpted that this this was good crabbing ground and to throw the nets out,lol

Colin 3 > long standing and highly respect member of the prestigous Colin's club.

you can have a great days entertainment sitting down the boat ramp,especialy at The biddy Adam.
Fast fish rule!

I know a few dudes like that. They don't know the meaning of the word slow down.

I used to play football (rugby) with fraternal twins in Sydney. Their father owned a car yard and the family was pretty loaded. Anyway we all had the day off during the week and the brothers asked me if I wanted to go out fishing with them in their dad's big boat. They would supply all the gear, food, booze etc as they said their dad was loaded. Of course I jumped at the chance.
To cut the story short, after much stuffing around, including one of the brothers losing the car keys, and the other forgetting to put the chain on the boat trailer we finally got the boat in the water near the Spit Bridge.
I forgot to mention these brothers liked to fight (mainly with each other). Anyway we took off at a hundred miles per hour with the brothers having a fist fight at the wheel over who was driving. After that settled down, they decided to toss a line out the back to do some trolling. That led to another fist fight (over who's line should be thrown out) and some rather erratic driving which saw their line go straight over the top of some poor old guy's dinghy and lodge in his tackle box - which was dragged overboard. After retreiving his soggy cane fishing basket and giving it back to him the lads decided it time to floor the engine and head outside of Sydney heads. (By this time I was thinking of jumping overboard and joining the old guy).
Anyway after a bone chattering race out to the ocean off Sydney we finally got to this spot the boys reckoned was great for bottom fishing.
Out come the rods and the tackle box. But NO BAIT.
That led to another fist fight.
So we caught no fish. Scared the hell out of just about every poor boating person in Sydney and one of the brothers couldn't play rugby that weekend because he had a broken nose.
Don't know why, but I never went fishing with those guys again.

Hi Ya,

As a kid we used to live opposite the only launching ramp in Bunbury.  Never actually owned a boat ourselves but it was fun watching other people stuff up.

Lost count on the number of cars that ended up in the water; and the number of boats on the deck; and the number of boats that floated away down the estuary; and the number of people who couldn't back a trailer.

Which reminds me of one incident.  bloke and family returned to the ramp.  Biggish boat.  Gave his wife the keys to get car.  She did.  Jumped in and took off backwards.  Within a few metres the trailer was seriously jackknifed but she kept going.  She in the Fairlane pushing a dual axle trailer sideways.  Never saw a bloke move so fast or yell so loud.  By the time she actually stopped, she must have pushed it 30 metres or so sideways.  Funny as. 

Cheers.

***** Proud RECFISHWEST member ****

Had one like that at tantabiddi last year.  Guy launched the boat, climbed on as it rolled off the trailer, was about 15m out and realised he didn't have the boat keys.  Pumping 20+knot south wester and calls to the wife to throw the keys.  A nice throw of about 10m and plop, there they go.  That was just the start of their dramas, just gotta wonder some times.

Theres a few blokes out there whose fathers should have worn a condom fair dinkum, having said that i will be probally be another provideing entertainment at the ramp, i have my fingers crossed ,lol

Colin 3 > long standing and highly respect member of the prestigous Colin's club.