Friday Funnys
Submitted by ledge64 on Fri, 2023-01-13 06:44
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Faulkner Family
Posts: 17861
Date Joined: 11/03/08
Very good . Got some beauties
Very good . Got some beauties there
RUSS and SANDY. A family that fishes together stays together
dmck
Posts: 406
Date Joined: 07/03/19
those less fortunate...
Xmas is a time for reflection when we think about those in the community not as fortunate as others.
2022 was no exception.
I came across this plea from the heart to Santa clearly demonstrating the need for compassion and understanding in these troubled times.
DEAR SANTA,
WHEN I WAS A CHILD, MY FATHER CHEATED ON MY MOTHER AND DIDN"T LOVE OUR FAMILY.
LATER, MY MUM AND DAD DIVORCED AND DAD WENT HOME TO LIVE WITH GRANDMA.
SOON AFTER, MY MOTHER DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT.
MY BROTHER AND I HAD TO LIVE IN GRANDMA'S OLD HOUSE WITH DAD.
GRANDMA'S SISTER WAS AN ALCOHOLIC.
MY UNCLE ANDY IS BARELY KEEPING HIMSELF OUT OF JAIL FROM DAY TO DAY.
THE WHOLE FAMILY LIVED ON MY GRANDMA'S SAVINGS.
GRANDMA RECENTLY PASSED AWAY.
MY BROTHER LEFT HOME AND WON"T TALK TO US ANY MORE.
MY DAD, NOW 74, HAD TO GO TO WORK TO SUPPORT US AND HE IS EVENTUALLY GOING TO WANT ME TO DO THE SAME THING.
Yours sincerely,
PRINCE WILLIAM
dmck
Posts: 406
Date Joined: 07/03/19
First Aid fail...
Paddy and Shane are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day,
Shane slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw.
Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Shane to the local hospital.
Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks after Shane. The nurse says, "Oh he's out in rehab exercising
." Paddy couldn't believe it, but there's Shane out the back exercising his now re-attached arm.
The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.
A couple of days go by, and then Shane slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw.
So Paddy puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Shane off to the hospital.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies,
"He's out in the rehab again exercising." And sure enough,
there's Shane out there doing some serious work on the treadmill.
And very soon Shane comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head.
Wearily Paddy puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Shane to the hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Shane is.
The nurse breaks down and cries and says, "He's dead."
Paddy is shocked, but not surprised. "I suppose the saw finally did him in."
"No", says the nurse, "Some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
dmck
Posts: 406
Date Joined: 07/03/19
Bar-room games....
Faulkner Family
Posts: 17861
Date Joined: 11/03/08
Very good. Made me choke on
Very good. Made me choke on my coffee. Bloody Irish and blonde jokes
RUSS and SANDY. A family that fishes together stays together