Adventures in flat packing. Joke

 Thought I would give a quick run down for the young fellas, old heads will know what I'm talking about.

So the wife insists on buying Ikea flat pack rubbish and says hey can you just pop that together, grrr

Step one. Take 2 of your strongest valium type medications

Say a little prayer

Don't drink 2 bottles of wine like usual

Tell the wife to go away and leave you alone

Get your 10 year old son to help, much better

Follow the instructions, who knew hey just because you can build a kayak out of a sheet of plywood and fibreglass these devious flat packs will catch you out.

Complete said flat pack without swearing and don't actually have to take it apart 3 times.

Avoid divorce, now drink a bottle of wine and enjoy still talking to your wife.

Haha just a laugh, but you know what I mean. 




Anywhere anytime

Posts: 758

Date Joined: 21/05/12

 what do u do qwith the spare

Sun, 2021-09-19 13:09

 what do u do qwith the spare bits 

and how long did it take u to fab up the missing ones

reckon it will last past wednesday?

Faulkner Family's picture

Posts: 16807

Date Joined: 11/03/08

 Yep them damn flat packs . I

Sun, 2021-09-19 14:42

 Yep them damn flat packs . I don't read the instructions.  I look at the pick and then put them away ..confusing enough without following the instructions on how bolt a goes with nut f and goes into slot j  . 

Well done on getting it together without the 4 letter words 


RUSS and SANDY. A family that fishes together stays together

sea-kem's picture

Posts: 13507

Date Joined: 30/11/09

 Keeping the missus away in

Sun, 2021-09-19 15:11

 Keeping the missus away in any project like that is paramount to sanity. 


Love the West!

choc's picture

Posts: 659

Date Joined: 05/01/12

 I bit the bullet years ago

Sun, 2021-09-19 18:01

 I bit the bullet years ago and said if she buys any more she can put together herself. She still buys some bits and her mum comes and helps put it together.

scotto's picture

Posts: 2380

Date Joined: 21/04/08

I’m a builder

Mon, 2021-09-20 06:08

I'm a commercial builder. I've built entire high schools, aged care facilities, 8 storey hotels, apartment buildings, warehouses, shopping complexes, you name it, I've built it. 

But, do you fucking think I can fucking put together a fucking set of fucking drawers from fucking ikea?

rob90's picture

Posts: 1185

Date Joined: 06/02/13

 Haha I'm a cabinet maker by

Mon, 2021-09-20 08:30

 Haha I'm a cabinet maker by trade, I picked up a job to do an ikea kitchen a while back. Sunk 5 hrs into it then called the client to get a non tradie to finish the job. Was happy to forfeit my labour cost. Most of my time was unpacking boxes then swearing at the thing because labour was going to cost more than what I could've made and installed a real kitchen for.


 Hi my name is rob............. and I'm a........... fishaholic

davewillo's picture

Posts: 989

Date Joined: 08/09/16

 I must be stupid because I

Mon, 2021-09-20 10:35

 I must be stupid because I don't mind putting their stuff together! Just look at all the steps first so you don't have to pull it apart halfway. They give you hex bits for cordless drills now but years ago I just used to cut the Allen key and whack it in the drill. Made life much easier!

Alcohol is always required too!