some good ones there. good to see they are all in theme this week. 

Hapy easter to all

Wait till Adults Only week

Dear Son,

Just s to let yoy know I'm still alive.I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast.You won't know the house when you get home- we have move.

About your father-he has a lovely new job.He has 500 men under him-he cuts the grass at the Cemetery.There was a washing machine at the new house when we moved in, but it hasn't been working too good.

Last week I put in 14 shirts,pulled the chain, and haven't seen the shirts since.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out weather it's a boy or a girl,so I don't know if you are an Aunt or an Uncle.

Your  uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whisky in the Dublin Brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him, but he fought them off bravely.They cremated him, and it took three days to put out fire.

I went to the doctor on Thursday, and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days.Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.We had aletter from the undertaker.He said if the last payment on your

grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.

Your loving Mother xoxoxo

P.S. I was going to send you ten dollars but I had already sealed the envalope!

                                                                IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY

Once upon a time,there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south.I n a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard,almost frozen.A cowpassed by and crapped on the little sparrow.The sparrow thought it was the end.But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings.Warm and happy, able to breathe,he started to sing.Just then a large cat came by and  hearing the chirping,investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.

 The moral of the story:

1.Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.

2. Everyone who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.

3.And , if you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.

Dear Sir,Madam

Our records show that you are holding  shares in the following companies:-1.Metropolitan water Co.

                                                                                                             2.Metropolitan Gas Co

                                                                                                             3. Union Can Company

                                                                                                             4.British Perforated tissue paper

Due to uncertain conditions of the market at present,we would advise you to sit on your Union Can,hold your water, and let your gas go.

You will no doubt be interested to know that British  Tissue touched  a new bottom to-day and thousands were wiped clean.

 Trusting yours is the same. 

Yours faithully, Squatt & Pee - Shareholders

ledge another good effort mate......always look forward to fridays funnies!

I'm sure I have seen those Bunnies before :)

Well done Guys! awesome... got to love bunnies :) hahaha

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel,
found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired,  --- "Where have you been?"
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
----  "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said,   ---- "What is it?"
"It's a planet,"  --- replied God,   --- and I've put life on it.  I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test 'Balance.'"
"Balance?" ---   inquired Michael, ---- "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.

"For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people.
Balance in all things..."
God continued pointing to different countries.  ---  "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said,   ---  "What's that one?"
"That's Perth, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful trees and gardens, a beautiful river, and days filled with sunshine. The people from Perth are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and  humorous, and they are going to travel the world.
They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked,   ---  "But what about balance, God?   You said there would be 'balance.'"

God smiled,  --- "I will create Canberra
Wait till you see the idiots I'll put there."...............