a boy walks in to a classroom late with no shirt on and the teacher asks " where have you been? "
The boy replies " on top of cheryl hill"
Another boys comes in with no pants on and the teacher asks " now where have you been?" and the boy replies " on top of cheryl hill" so the teacher wonders what is cheryl hill..
a girl walks in and the teacher says "oh hello whats your name? the girl says cheryl hill
My wonderful Italian girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me....It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate.
Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo... And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law put down his shotgun and hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'
These three old ladies and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat. Gertrude immediately had a stroke.
Then Maude also had a stroke. But Tillie, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.
Wiremu, a New Zealander, was in Australia to watch the upcoming Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well,
So he decided to see a doctor.
"Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu.
The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prostate problems and that the only cure was testicular removal.
"No way doc" replied Wiremu "I'm gitting a sicond opinion ey!"
The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised him that testicular removal was the only cure. Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.
Wiremu was devastated, but with the Rugby World Cup just around the corner he found an expat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last opinion from someone he could trust.
The Kiwi doctor examined him and said: "Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you huv Prostate suckness ey."
"What's the cure thin doc ?" asked Wiremu hoping for a different answer.
"Wull, Wiremu", said the Kiwi doctor "Wi're gonna huv to cut off your balls."
"Phew, thunk god for thut!" said Wiremu, "those Aussie bastards wanted to take my test tickets off me!"
Jeff and his 3 mates went up north one year for a fishing trip, and decided to camp while they were there.
One night after a good days fishing, they were sitting around the camp fire, sharing there own fishing adventures and best catches. Each trying to impress each other, trying to make out whos the best.
The First guy starts sharing his story and best catch and says "few years back I was fishing the inlet down at denmark with some flick gear, when all of a sudden i got this big bite, I let him run, and after about 15 minutes I saw a glimpse of him. Finally got him in the landing net, and was astounded when I caught myself a huge sand whiting, it went 51cm! Lick That!"
The second guy starts talking and goes on "I was fishing at North Mole the other day, during the storm, and I caught this massive Pink Snapper, it took about 40 minutes just to get it to the surface, it went 15kg! Lick Thatt!"
The third guy then speaks up and says. "Last time i was here, we were out on the boat and I caught a big black marlin! Lick That"
Once the 3 of Jeff's mates finished, he decided to speak up
A frustrated housewife decided her sex life needed spicing up after 20 years of marriage.
After her husband went to work she slipped out and went into a lingerie shop and picked up a pair of crotchless knickers. She went home, tarted herself up and donned the new garment and selected a short skirt to go with it. She greeted her husband when he came home from work and sat across from him after she prepares him a drink.
She slowly spread her legs,and in a husky come f**k me voice says "Honey, would you like some of this?"
The husband looks between his ageing wife's legs and lets out his breath, looking up at his doting wife replies, "HELL, NO! Look what it's done to your underwear."
scottland
Posts: 3045
Date Joined: 10/05/10
lame but thought i would share haha
a boy walks in to a classroom late with no shirt on and the teacher asks " where have you been? "
The boy replies " on top of cheryl hill"
Another boys comes in with no pants on and the teacher asks " now where have you been?" and the boy replies " on top of cheryl hill" so the teacher wonders what is cheryl hill..
a girl walks in and the teacher says "oh hello whats your name? the girl says cheryl hill
i support two teams eagles and whoever is playing the dockers
deepwater
Posts: 1927
Date Joined: 09/05/07
not bad not bad at all,the
not bad not bad at all,the first one is a cracker
jeff
Timmo
Posts: 258
Date Joined: 01/03/10
the italian wedding test
I was a very happy man.
My wonderful Italian girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me....It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate.
Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo... And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law put down his shotgun and hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car !
Marky
Posts: 420
Date Joined: 01/05/09
ahaha...nice one
ahaha...nice one
hemi
Posts: 349
Date Joined: 17/01/10
bahahaha
bahahaha
Timmo
Posts: 258
Date Joined: 01/03/10
3 girls
Tillie - Maude - Gertrude
These
three old ladies and their dogs
were
sitting on a park bench
having
a quiet conversation
when
a flasher approached from across the park.
The
flasher came up to the ladies,
stood
right in front of them
and
opened his trench coat.
Gertrude
immediately had a stroke.
Then
Maude also had a stroke.
But
Tillie, being older and more feeble,
couldn't reach that far.
alfred
Posts: 3097
Date Joined: 12/01/07
Wiremu, a New Zealander, was
Wiremu, a New Zealander, was in Australia to watch the upcoming Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well,
So he decided to see a doctor.
"Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu.
The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prostate problems and that the only cure was testicular removal.
"No way doc" replied Wiremu "I'm gitting a sicond opinion ey!"
The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised him that testicular removal was the only cure. Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.
Wiremu was devastated, but with the Rugby World Cup just around the corner he found an expat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last opinion from someone he could trust.
The Kiwi doctor examined him and said: "Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you huv Prostate suckness ey."
"What's the cure thin doc ?" asked Wiremu hoping for a different answer.
"Wull, Wiremu", said the Kiwi doctor "Wi're gonna huv to cut off your balls."
"Phew, thunk god for thut!" said Wiremu, "those Aussie bastards wanted to take my test tickets off me!"
bod
Posts: 2321
Date Joined: 03/05/06
good one alfred
good one alfred. lol
John_M
Posts: 967
Date Joined: 17/01/10
Heres a funny fishing joke.
Jeff and his 3 mates went up north one year for a fishing trip, and decided to camp while they were there.
One night after a good days fishing, they were sitting around the camp fire, sharing there own fishing adventures and best catches. Each trying to impress each other, trying to make out whos the best.
The First guy starts sharing his story and best catch and says "few years back I was fishing the inlet down at denmark with some flick gear, when all of a sudden i got this big bite, I let him run, and after about 15 minutes I saw a glimpse of him. Finally got him in the landing net, and was astounded when I caught myself a huge sand whiting, it went 51cm! Lick That!"
The second guy starts talking and goes on "I was fishing at North Mole the other day, during the storm, and I caught this massive Pink Snapper, it took about 40 minutes just to get it to the surface, it went 15kg! Lick Thatt!"
The third guy then speaks up and says. "Last time i was here, we were out on the boat and I caught a big black marlin! Lick That"
Once the 3 of Jeff's mates finished, he decided to speak up
"I haven't wiped my arse in 20 years. Lick That!"
scottland
Posts: 3045
Date Joined: 10/05/10
listen to this ventriliquist sing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNJ02rxaNrs
i support two teams eagles and whoever is playing the dockers
Rodrat
Posts: 1672
Date Joined: 13/01/07
Marrige!!!!!
A frustrated housewife decided her sex life needed spicing up after 20 years of marriage.
After her husband went to work she slipped out and went into a lingerie shop and picked up a pair of crotchless knickers. She went home, tarted herself up and donned the new garment and selected a short skirt to go with it. She greeted her husband when he came home from work and sat across from him after she prepares him a drink.
She slowly spread her legs,and in a husky come f**k me voice says "Honey, would you like some of this?"
The husband looks between his ageing wife's legs and lets out his breath, looking up at his doting wife replies, "HELL, NO! Look what it's done to your underwear."
FISH FOR THE FUTURE
tommyqueenfish
Posts: 373
Date Joined: 27/10/10
lol
lol
SALT WATER FLY ADDICT!!
Australian Representative for Roatan Lures, If you have any questions please pm me!