A lawyer boarded an airplane in Busselton with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blond stewardess to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very arrogant manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in Perth , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs, in Busselton, please raise your hand.
Not one hand went up .... so she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think.
An Aussie bloke walks into a Sydney curio/antique shop. After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze statue of a rat.
It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway. He took it to the owner and said: 'How much is this bronze rat?'
The owner replied: 'It's $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story.'
The fella gave the owner his $12 and said: 'I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story!'
As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the drains and begun following him. This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing way.
He increased his speed and ran on towards Sydney Harbour and as he ran, he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and they were running faster and faster. By now very concerned, he ran down to the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the water as he could.
Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all drowned.
The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said, 'Ah, you've come back for the story then?'
'Hell no!' said the bloke, 'I came back to see if you've got a bronze Muslim, a Poof, a Pom and an Indian spin bowler.
Tony Halliday
Posts: 2500
Date Joined: 14/06/07
A lawyer boarded an airplane
A lawyer boarded an airplane in Busselton with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blond stewardess to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very arrogant manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in Perth , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs, in Busselton, please raise your hand.
Not one hand went up .... so she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think.
Tony Halliday: ~Meals on Reels ~
It takes a strong fish to swim against the current. Even a dead one can float with it
"It is always in season for old men to learn." Aeschylus (525-456 BC)
"In a mad world only the mad are sane." Akira Kurosawa (1910-1998)
alfred
Posts: 3097
Date Joined: 12/01/07
When I Read About The
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...
I Gave Up Reading
Adam Gallash
Posts: 15665
Date Joined: 29/11/05
No Offence intended to anyone
The Bronze Rat
An Aussie bloke walks into a Sydney curio/antique shop. After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze statue of a rat.
It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway. He took it to the owner and said: 'How much is this bronze rat?'
The owner replied: 'It's $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story.'
The fella gave the owner his $12 and said: 'I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story!'
As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the drains and begun following him. This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing way.
He increased his speed and ran on towards Sydney Harbour and as he ran, he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and they were running faster and faster. By now very concerned, he ran down to the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the water as he could.
Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all drowned.
The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said, 'Ah, you've come back for the story then?'
'Hell no!' said the bloke, 'I came back to see if you've got a bronze Muslim, a Poof, a Pom and an Indian spin bowler.
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deepwater
Posts: 1927
Date Joined: 09/05/07
that a cracker Ads jeff
that a cracker Ads
jeff
Dreamtime
Posts: 664
Date Joined: 21/09/09
lol
hahahaha nice one adam thats a beauty.
Timmo
Posts: 258
Date Joined: 01/03/10
boat launch fail
poddyfish
Posts: 986
Date Joined: 01/05/07
hahahaha
absolute cracker adz... can we throw billy bowden the di*khead in there too mate????
Fear The Spear............!