Friday Funny
Submitted by ledge64 on Fri, 2010-01-22 21:02
10 RULES FOR MEN
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home.
2. It's important to have a woman who cooks from time to time.
3. It's important to have a woman who keeps the house clean.
4. It's important to have a woman who has a job.
5. It's important to have a woman who likes you.
6. It's important to have a woman who can be your very best friend.
7. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
8. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, who doesn't lie to you.
9. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed.
10. It's very, very important that these nine women do not know each other.
Lamby
Posts: 3145
Date Joined: 04/08/09
An old one
BEFORE MARRIAGE:
Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait!
Wife - Do you want me to leave?
Husband - No! Don't even think about it.
Wife - Do you love me?
Husband - Of course! Always have and always will!
Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?
Husband - No! Why are you even asking?
Wife - Will you kiss me?
Husband - Every chance I get!
Wife - Will you hit me?
Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!
Wife - Can I trust you?
Husband - Yes.
Wife - Darling!
AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top.
Decella
Posts: 401
Date Joined: 01/02/09
Nice one
Good laugh that one.
danno
Posts: 1676
Date Joined: 12/07/09
hahahahahahahahahaha lamby
hahahahahahahahahaha lamby hahaha
thats gold mate.
haha cheers danno
GrahamM
Posts: 648
Date Joined: 19/01/09
well done had a giggle
well done had a giggle
deepwater
Posts: 1927
Date Joined: 09/05/07
they are the best jokes i
they are the best jokes i have heard in ages ,i got a real kick out of those 2
jeff
fisho-ron
Posts: 2539
Date Joined: 26/09/09
well done lamby, i showed my
well done lamby, i showed my wife and i only got a little smirk while i was pissing myself laughing.
i dont think she enjoyed it
grayzeee
Posts: 2283
Date Joined: 09/07/09
"An older irish gentleman
"An older irish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much
in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never
achieves orgasm. Since an irish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they
decide to ask the priest.
The priest listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the
following suggestion. "when i grew up on the farm , and the bulls had trouble mating , we used to wave a towel at them to cool them down. this would be sure to help . Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are
making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help keep the wife cool and she may fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."
They go home and follow the priest's advice. They hire a handsome young man
and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and
she is still unsatisfied.
Perplexed, they go back to the priest."Okay",says the priest, "let's try it
reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the
towel over them."
Once again, they follow the priests advice. The young man gets into bed
with the wife and the husband waves the towel frantically . The young man gets to work
with great enthusiasm and the wife is clearly enjoying it and very soon has multiple enormous, room-shaking, earth moving
screaming orgasms.
The husband looks at the young sweating man and says to him triumphantly,
"Now, DAT'S how you waves a towel!"
If I spent half as long fishing , as I do reading this bloody forum , I'd be twice the fisherman I am.
danno
Posts: 1676
Date Joined: 12/07/09
haha grayzeee thats funny as
haha grayzeee thats funny as well
cheers danno