Friday Funnys


Dale's picture

Posts: 7930

Date Joined: 13/09/05

Fri, 2015-08-28 09:36

 That green guy is funny as, good funnies as usual.

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"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."

Mr Wolf

 

 

Alan James's picture

Posts: 2204

Date Joined: 30/06/09

Where to after 'SAME SEX MARRIAGE’ is legalised?

Fri, 2015-08-28 10:19

 

"Good morning.  We want to apply for a marriage license."

 "Names?", said the clerk.

 "Tim and Jim Jones."

 "Jones?  Are you related?  I see a resemblance."

 "Yes, we're brothers."

 "Brothers?  You can't get married."

 "Why not?  Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"

 "Yes, thousands.  But we haven't had any siblings.  That's incest!"

 "Incest?  No, we are not gay."

 "Not gay?  Then why do you want to get married?"

 "For the financial benefits, of course.  And we do love each other.  Besides, we don't have any other prospects."

 "But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who claim they've been denied equal rights under law.  If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."

 "Wait a minute.  A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have.  But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman.  I want to marry Jim."

 "And I want to marry Tim.  Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"

 "All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."

 

 "Hi, we are here to get married."

 "Names?"

 "John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."

 "Who wants to marry whom?"

 "We all want to marry each other."

 "But there are four of you!"

 "That's right, you see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me.  All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."

 "But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."

 "So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"

 "No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."

 "Since when are you standing on tradition?"

 "Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."

 "Who says?  There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples.  The more the better.  Besides, we demand our rights!  The constitution guarantees equal rights under the law.  Give us a marriage license!"

 "All right, all right. Next."

 

 "Hello, I'd like a marriage license."

 "In what names?"

 "David Anderson."

 "And the other man?"

 "That's all.  I want to marry myself."

 "Marry yourself?  What do you mean?"

 "Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together.  Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."

"That does it, I quit, you people are making a mockery of marriage!!"

 

 ...Don't laugh, it’s only a matter of time.

 

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Dale's picture

Posts: 7930

Date Joined: 13/09/05

Fri, 2015-08-28 10:46

 Well said, it pretty well sums it up.

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"Just because you are a Character, Doesn't mean you have Character."

Mr Wolf

 

 

Posts: 626

Date Joined: 27/11/09

Short and sweet...

Fri, 2015-08-28 12:10

Why did Susie fall out the swing?

She has no arms.

 

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Not Susie.

 

How do you get a jewish girl's number?

Roll up her sleeves.

Josh's picture

Posts: 279

Date Joined: 14/09/10

 what did Susie get for

Fri, 2015-08-28 18:39

 what did Susie get for Christmas?

 

I don't know, she can't open it 

Posts: 5981

Date Joined: 17/06/10

OOOH so true Alan

Fri, 2015-08-28 17:42

Yep the values of the bygone age are stuffed.